March 5, 2017

Hiatus Interuptus

Hey! Is anybody still out there?


As you may have noticed, I have been on a hiatus for the past several months.  I've been the pretty much sole caretaker for my mom as she goes through treatment for breast cancer.  I say "pretty much" because my older sister has been around, but has been working 12 hour days and has a health issue so it's been mostly up to me.  And if you know me you know I am partially disabled myself so adding the role of caretaker onto my resume hasn't been easy to say the least. My younger sister and 2yo niece are in town right now from California and staying a couple of weeks, my older sister just got better treatment for her issue, my friend Michele has been helping out more, and my mom had her final chemo appointment this past Thursday (she's had every single side effect possible so I am SUPER glad this is behind her), so things should be a little less bat-shit crazy here for a while. Thank goodness.  I could use the rest.

However, my mom's treatment is not over.  She gets a couple weeks off to recover her white count from chemo and then she has another surgery (she had one prior to receiving chemo), and once she's recovered from THAT, then she goes through an intense round of radiation 5 days a week. 

Me, getting through the day any way I can
I am exhausted, I hurt continuously, and I'm basically running on caffeine, Adderall, pain pills, and adrenaline, but I am more than happy to help my mom out. She's always been there for me, including helping me through the most disabling 3 years of my life only a couple of years ago. I owe her so much.  She's going to survive, it is just a long fight to get there since the cancer is super aggressive.  But the good news is she will survive. Hooray! :)

I have missed blogging.  Just the other day Emma from Words & Peace sent me a lovely tweet about how she missed seeing my posts and would be here when I came back.  Others have sent me lovely messages of comfort and support, too, and I appreciate every. single. one.  They help you get through the really tough days when everything is going wrong and you aren't sure how you're going to take one more step, even if she has fallen again or her blood sugar fell or she can't breathe.  I worry so much I won't be able to be where I need to be when I need to be there because of my chronic pain & fatigue.  But it has worked out so far that on these days someone has been there to help out.  I am beyond grateful for that.  And you guys still being around hoping to hear my thoughts on books is just the best, thank you.  It helps me remember that all of this is temporary and that there are still completely normal, beautiful, happy, interesting things all around me even when I forget.


I am going to try to post something every now and then as I can.  It was pretty impossible when my mom first started treatment as she was sick all the time.  Fingers crossed I can take a few minutes to read and blog every week.  It would be good for my sanity. ;)


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