February 21, 2013

The Last Train - 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing



It was the last train out of the station for the night.  She had to be on it.  It was the only way to escape the life she was trapped in.  

She nervously paced back and forth between two support beams as she clasped and unclasped her hands subconsciously   Her pale blue eyes darted around the depot looking for any sign she wasn't alone.  That he had found her.

She wouldn't go back.  She could never go back.  She had to catch this train.  The minutes ticked by.  Finally she heard the train coming from her right.  She let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding.  She inched closer to the edge of the platform.  She took one last look around as the train came around the corner down the line.

That's when she saw him.

Her husband.  He was coming for her.  She saw him recognize her and begin pushing past other passengers waiting for the train to get to her.  Immediately the calm that had begun to settle in when she saw the train became engulfed in the flames of her fear.  He couldn't get to her.  She wouldn't subject herself to that kind of pain again.  It had taken everything she could think of to even get this far.  She would not get another opportunity.

The train was rapidly approaching.  She had to think fast.  He was closing in on her and she could just make out the shine off of the .45 hidden in his right belt loop just behind his blazer.  He took better care of that gun than he did her.  She knew if she didn't get away she would be in for weeks of torture for disobeying him.

Did she have time to jump on the train without him following her?  

There was no time left to think.  He was closing in.  His hand reached out to grab her elbow.  

Just as his fingers grazed her skin, one swift motion brought her firmly out of his grasp.  She jumped just as the train was slowing down to stop.  It didn't stop in time, however.   It had finally happened.  It wasn't the way she wanted it to happen, but she was free- free from him forever.  


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This post brought to you today by the prompt "The Last Train" for the 30 Minus 2 Days of Writing Challenge.  Let me know your thoughts!

9 comments:

  1. Oh, my. Not the ending I had hoped for. But the tale was well told.

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  2. Oh wow, what a tragic story of love gone wrong. Good job. :)

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  3. oh my gosh... I didn't expect that how sad...

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  4. I am at a loss for words... what a story, Becca. I could almost taste her fear. Well done!

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  5. Death and trains. The way it should be.

    Very good story, btw. :) I really liked how you made me feel her wanting so much to get away from him...that "edge of the seat" panic that you sometimes get (if you're lucky) when reading a story or watching a film. For a minute there you are that person.

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  6. Well that was quite the story. Not the ending I would think most would expect.

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  7. I like it! What a great idea for a prompt.

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  8. Chilling. I read it quickly the first time and missed some things, so the ending really surprised me.

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